You know you've started the third trimester when...

With today being the first day of my third trimester, I thought I'd give a shout out to Jeff Foxworthy's classic redneck sketch in my own little way:

You know you've started the third trimester when...

• It doesn't matter what you eat, just as long as you eat when you're hungry...and that's all of the time.
• No one makes eye contact with you on a first greeting. It's more like "belly contact."
• You've given up trying to hide your baby bump with baggy sweaters.
• You still look forward to wearing maternity shirts; however, you momentarily forget this joy when you have to tie the strings on your shirt behind your back when you get dressed.
• You worry about getting said strings wet when you use the bathroom.
• Your shirts and pants have food stains because as you eat, you miss your mouth a lot more than you used to.
• Overalls are no longer an option. Sure, the pants are baggy, but the non-elastic waistband is like a cinch over your tummy.
• You try to tie your shoes by bending over, and then remember that you can no longer reach your feet without cocking your leg at an odd angle.
• Your hand and your tummy attract each other. They seem to be attached when you sit or stand.
• You're instaneously distracted as soon as the baby moves, kicks, punches, or rolls.
• You watch your tummy instead of the TV.
• You want other people to feel the baby move, but feel a little awkward about sharing that experience as well.
• There are more pillows on your bed for your tummy than your head.
• You temporarily lose your mind (and emotions) at random times in the day.
• You no longer look forward to getting the weekly e-mails about your pregnancy's progress because that just means that labor is that much closer.
• You think of yourself as "fat," but others think of you as "pregnant" or "cute."
• The reality of being pregnant has officially set in...finally. The reality that you're going to be your baby's parent has not.
• You feel completely overwhelmed by baby clothes, furniture, gear, and supplies.
• You want to hear about other women's pregnancy experiences--especially women who are pregnant or just gave birth.
• You signed up for a million pregnancy classes to "prepare" yourself.

I could go on, but I'll stop for now. Being pregnant is definitely a unique experience, and I'm taking this journey one day at a time.